


Your Hands That Once Warmed Mine

by luvminsung



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Fluff and Angst, Help, How Do I Tag, I love minsung so muuuuuch, Kissing, M/M, My first fanfic on ao3!, The rest of skz are only mentioned, Winter, minsung - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 13:50:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17940914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luvminsung/pseuds/luvminsung
Summary: Winter is magical for Jisung, and mainly because Minho is the reason. Well, at least it was.





	Your Hands That Once Warmed Mine

**Author's Note:**

> I love Day 6's songs and Goodbye, Winter is my favorite. I wrote this while playing it.
> 
> Anyway, I'm sorry for grammatical errors and such. English is not my first language.
> 
> Aaand I hope you enjoy! <3

It’s funny how everything about winter reminds Jisung of Minho.

Like the smirk that formed on Minho’s face after winning on a bet on who makes a bigger snow angel the morning they woke up to a heaping pile of snow, or the loud hearty laugh Minho doesn’t bother to hold back on Jisung’s jokes over hot chocolate, and the best was the warmth of Minho’s hand in his in random cold nights.

Winter is magical for Jisung, and mainly because Minho is the reason. Well, at least it _was._

 

_~_

 

Their first helloes was on a green seesaw, Jisung was the one to approach the new boy in the subdivision, it was Minho. He was amazed by how pretty Minho’s eyes glistened with delight when he asked him to play with him.

Since then, they played a lot, almost everyday and made other friends in the playground. Their houses were literally next to each other and countless sleepovers were made as they grew up together.

Jisung was 15 when he learnt that the word ‘pretty’ does not justify the description of Minho’s eyes anymore. It is now _sublime._ And it’s not only his eyes that he finds beautiful, it was anything and everything about him. He tried to ignore his heart that skipped a beat as he saw his _hyung_ in a different light.

On the first day of their spring break they decided to just slack around Jisung’s house. They played video games, ate their favorite snacks at the convenience store and had a movie marathon to random genres.

Minho was lying down on the couch, resting his head on Jisung’s lap, they were munching on some white cheddar flavored popcorn and was now on their third movie. It was a romance with a girl and a boy starting off as bestfriends and eventually another boy became their friend. At first, the girl tells his bestfriend about the new guy and how she’s beginning to like him. But towards the middle of the story, the two guys became much closer and one confesses his feelings for the other boy and they kiss.

As the kiss scene started, Jisung’s cheeks started to heat up. He doesn’t know why but the feeling of Minho so close to him and they’re both watching this scene made his heart race. He glanced at Minho and was surprised that his eyes were glued to the screen. He wondered what was on the older’s mind while watching.

The movie ended on a happy one and the kissing scene still lingers on the younger’s mind. None of them were speaking for a while as the credits roll on the tv. Jisung reached for his phone, trying to take off that particular scene in his head but Minho just had to ask.

“Have you ever kissed someone, Ji?” Minho was still looking at the screen when he asked him.

He hadn’t stopped fiddling on his phone “N-No hyung… not yet. Have you?”

He heard Minho hum a yes and Jisung felt weird. Was he envious that Minho kissed someone already? Or was he jealous that someone had kissed Minho? But then again, why would he be jealous?

“It was a girl that had a crush on me.” he began earning Jisung’s attention now. “She confessed and I just stood there and stared at her. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings because I didn’t like her back. But then she kissed me.” Minho shifted, still rested his head on the younger’s lap and he is now facing up, towards him.

“How did it feel?” he wasn’t ready for the answer but still asked anyway.

“Nothing. If felt nothing special”

Jisung was about to reply when Minho spoke again “But, I’m curious about something.”

This time Minho sat up beside Jisung and faced him.

“What’s that, hyung?”

The older just looked at him for a while, eyes filled with curiosity, before answering

“How’s it like, to kiss a boy.”

Jisung felt he was melting under Minho’s gaze. Minho scooted alarmingly close to him he can smell his favorite cologne. He was panicking inside but he still tried to look composed on the outside.

He saw the older’s eyes look down on his lips and back to his eyes again.

“Can I kiss you?” It was almost a low whisper that made Jisung heart beat wilder. He was frozen in place but still managed to nod before slowly closing his eyes and a soft pair of lips on his was what he felt next.

The popcorn they ate was salty but Minho’s lips were sweet as candy, it doesn’t make sense to Jisung but it felt nice. It was short and chaste. The second they pulled away, he opened his eyes and a shy smile greeted him.

_Jisung liked his first kiss._

 

_~_

 

It was autumn, a few months before Minho graduates in his university, Jisung decided to confess his feelings for him. They were walking home together from their favorite fast food place they ate with their friends. It was unusually cold that night and Minho noticed Jisung wasn’t wearing anything to protect his head.

Without a word he removed the beanie he is wearing and put it on the younger’s head. He also took out a hot pack and slipped it on Jisung’s freezing hands.

The action startled the younger “What about you hyung?”

Minho smiled as he pinched his nose “I can’t risk you getting a cold.”

“But then you might catch one.” Jisung pouted and Minho thought it was the cutest sight in the world.

He giggled “I’ll be fine, silly.”

Jisung took Minho’s hand to give him the hot pack and interlaced their fingers, sandwiching the pack. The older smiled at their hands.

“Hyung” he said and Minho stopped walking to look at him. “I like you.” Jisung didn’t know where the courage came from but he just blurted it out.

Minho held his gaze for a while, a blush dancing across his cheeks. He looks at him like he’s saying that _he knows_ without even uttering anything.

“You know that time when I was curious how’s it like to kiss a boy?” his other hand now cupped Jisung’ face, Minho’s thumb brushing on the younger’s cheek.

“It felt… _special_.”

Minho inched his face closer to Jisung and pressed his lips on Jisung’s cold ones. It was different from their first kiss. It was longer and sweeter. Like all their feelings have been poured onto it. Minho tilted his head to deepen the kiss, softly nibbling on Jisung’s soft pair as the younger reciprocated, both their lips moved in sync. Minho can’t help but smile through the kiss. He could taste the strawberry flavored lip balm the younger used. The butterflies in their stomachs do somersaults and the moment they pulled away, they were catching their breaths.

“I like you too, Jisung.” Minho said, lightly squeezing the younger’s hand as the first snowflake fall on the top of Jisung’s head.

 

~

 

Along the way, Jisung fell more for Minho. Deeper. Harder. And so did the older.

It was not for long that they had said their _I love yous_ and thought that they couldn’t be any happier than being safe in each others hold.

When Jisung graduated, Minho took him to a newly opened coffee shop downtown and ordered a slice of every flavor of cheesecake they had.

“Seriously?!” his doe eyes widened at the sight of 5 plates of different flavors of cheesecake and 2 cups of hot caramel macchiato.

“It was hard to choose only one so I got all of them.” Minho laughed as he rubbed the back of his neck. Cheesecake is Jisung’s favorite. “Happy graduation baby!” he tossed his arms up before gesturing his boyfriend to sit down.

The younger winced at the endearment “Hyung, this is insane.” yes, it was, and he meant it in a good way.

“Yeah, and I’m insanely in love with you too.” he winked at the blonde boy and sat across the table.

He jokingly shrieked “Too cheesy but thank you.” his eyes fluttered briskly but not as fast as the fluttering of his heart.

Minho reached for the younger’s hand and intertwined it with his. Jisung finds Minho’s hands cute, they’re smaller than his. It’s almost like holding a baby’s hand. A contrast to his big frame that Jisung loves being a little spoon to.

“You’ve gone through hell this past two semesters, I know because I experienced the same so this is your reward for surviving it.” he took a fork using his free hand, dug it on the strawberry cheesecake before feeding it to Jisung.

He gladly took it and hummed in satisfaction “Thank you, Minho-hyung” he said giving a peck on his boyfriend’s cheek.

 

~

 

After numerous attempts, Jisung got accepted at his dream company where he’ll be part of a producer team.

He had always loved writing lyrics and producing music. All the feelings that he can’t contain or everything that he needs to let out, Jisung starts with a beat then a melody and the right words to go with it.

So when he got in at JYP Entertainment., he immediately went to the person who have always believed in him to tell him the good news.

“Minho-hyung!” without even knowing if the older was there, he barged in the dance studio where Minho teaches dance and co-owns with Felix and Hyunjin who were also his closest friends.

He must’ve been really blessed that day because Minho was there, alone. He was in his dance attire, a white t-shirt, black sweatpants with red flannels tied around his waist. And before he can even turn around to fully face Jisung, the younger ran at full speed and embraced him causing them both to fall down.

Minho chuckled and ruffled Jisung’s newly dyed dark brown hair “Jisung, hello to you too! So, what’s the good news?” he knew his boyfriend is this hyperactive when he’s in a really good mood.

“JYP! I got in!”

“Woah congrats baby!” Jisung was now sitting above him. An idea came into mind and he began tickling his sides.

“Hyung-hahahaha! Stop! Hahaha please-” tears were forming in Jisung eyes from laughing too hard.

The older succeeded in making Jisung weak to tackle him down and their positions were now switched. He looked in his deep chocolate eyes “I knew you’d get accepted. I never doubted one bit.” he leaned down to kiss his forehead, then his nose and soon he peppered cute kisses all over his face then he stopped and looked lovingly at Jisung again.

Jisung pouted, pointing to his lips asking Minho for a kiss there too. The older leaned in until their faces were a breath away. The blue haired boy slowly closed his eyes. Instead of landing it on his lips, he went directly to his ear.

“Only if you can catch me” his whispered and playfully bite on the younger’s earlobe.The action sent shivers down Jisung’s spine. He didn’t see it but he can feel Minho’s smirk while saying that.

Minho stood up and ran outside the dance studio after sticking his tongue out mischievously to tease the younger

Jisung grunted and laughed at Minho’s playful antics “Hyung!”

 

~

 

Eventually, both boys got busy with their work. Sometimes, Jisung comes to the dance studio when he finished his tasks early and eat dinner with the older at their favorite samgyupsal place. Or Minho makes surprise visits to Jisung’s and just hang out at the place before going back to the studio.

But they always meet on Sundays. It’s their date day and they make the most out of it. Like one sunday they went to the amusement park trying different rides, eating corn dogs, drinking smoothies and sharing cotton candy. They were down to the last ride and they decided it’ll be the cable car.

It was supposed to be romantic. Only the two of them, high up the crowd and game stalls, even above the fairy lights and chinese lanterns. Enjoying the beautiful view of the sea as the sun sets in the horizon. It would have been a private, romantic moment..only if they both weren’t scared of heights.

“Hyung, I’m scared” Jisung closed his eyes and buried his face on Minho’s neck as the car goes up. He felt Minho stiffen and wrapped his shaking arms on the younger.

“I’m scared too. But don’t worry, everything’s going to be alright.” he assured him. He tried his best to be calm to not scare Jisung more.

Minho looked everywhere but below them. He was thinking of something to calm Jisung down as an idea came to mind. He hummed the melody of the first song he thought of.

Jisung loves Minho’s voice.

It has a soothing tone that makes you feel like you’re floating on a cloud, or like the wind that blows on your face when you’re standing at the seashore, facing the calm ocean on a good weather. Relaxing and addicting. Jisung could listen to Minho sing or even just talk all day.

He let himself melt in Minho’s embrace, the older’s humming was slowly lulling Jisung to sleep. But before he could doze-off, he felt Minho tap his shoulder, signaling him that they were about to get off the cable car.

“You didn’t even get to see the view.” Minho teased as their feet finally touched the ground. He held out his hand to younger.

Jisung frowned “I was too scared to even open my eyes.” he took the older’s hand and intertwined it with his “Was the view that pretty?”

The older nodded “It is. I’m still looking at it now” he smiled the way that his eyes crinkles

“ _Beautiful_.” Minho said, making the younger flushed.

Jisung let go of Minho’s hand and covered his face with both of his own. “Ah hyung! Stop that.” he whined and a giggle escaped his mouth.

Minho pried Jisung’s hands away from his face “No can do, baby. You’re so cute when you blush.” He pinched Jisung’s cheek, a habit of Minho’s that the younger never complained about.

Every moment they are together is a moment of pure bliss. They cherish every bit of it, capturing every scene and keeping it in their memory.

And like every relationship, theirs aren’t perfect either.

As the months passed by, their once a week alone time turned into once every two weeks and then into once a month. They seldom go on dates now. Because of the pursuant of their own careers, it’s difficult for them to get together like the old times.

Although they still see each other everyday at home (they have decided to get a place of their own not long ago) and they talk once in a while when one or both isn’t asleep or isn’t at work, Jisung had gotten that iffy feeling that something has changed.

One night, Minho texted him that he’ll come home to their shared apartment to tell him a _very good news_ and that he bought cake to celebrate _._ Minho was so excited about it and the minute he got to the door he tackled him in a hug.

“Jisungie, you know that were in talks of branching out the dance studio, right?” He said as he dragged Jisung to the living room and both sat on the couch.

Jisung nodded, he felt the exuding excitement of the older “Yeah, hyung. Why?”

“We’ve finally got the contract to have one in New York and I’m going to handle it!” Minho almost shouted with glee.

“Wow that really is great news hyung!” Jisung exclaimed as he hugged Minho.

“Yes, it’ll be half a year from now and we need to get things prepared before we leave” he said as he stood up and pointed at the cake he was holding“I’m just going to get us some slice of this."

_We?_

Jisung was left dumbfounded at where he was sitting, thinking about what the older had just said before actually asking him about it.

“We? What do you mean by _we_?” he questioned as he made his way to the kitchen too.

“By _we_ , I meant _us_ , Ji.” Minho was carefully slicing the chocolate fudge cake. Apparently, Jisung changed his favorite flavor of cheesecake to a chocolate one.

“What are you saying?” Confusion was obviously displayed on the younger’s face.

Minho then halted when he remembered something “Oh, your passport is going to expire this year right? We need to get it renewed as soon as-”

“Hyung, you made plans without talking it with me?” Jisung cut him off.

Minho closed the lid of the cake box when he finished plating their slices and put it in the fridge “Isn’t going to New York one of your dreams? I thought that this is a great opportunity for the both of us. Why not take it?”

Jisung’s face fell “It is, hyung. But I can’t just leave everything here.”

Minho looked serious, he directly faced the younger “I can’t cancel the contract, Ji. And more than that, I can’t just leave _you_ here.”

“You can be there, hyung. We’ve done this before right? When you were on a competition?”Jisung knows what Minho is concerned about and he wanted to assure him that it’s okay for them to not always be together, physically.

“But that was a month, Jisung. This is different. It may take _years_.” Minho felt a bitter taste in his mouth as he spat the last words.

“I’m fine with being in a long-distance relationship.” Jisung knows it’s risky and not all survive that but he was willing to go all the way for Minho.

“Well, I’m not.” Minho declared.

The last time they were away from each other, Minho _almost_ lost him. They barely talked that whole month and he won’t let them go through that again. Especially now that it will take longer than that.

“Can’t you just consider coming with me?” the older’s expression softened.

“You know how hard I’ve tried to get into the company, Hyung. I can’t just throw it all away.” Jisung sighed heavily.

“And you’d throw me away instead?” What Minho responded had shocked the younger.

“What? I never said that.”  Jisung was refraining from making his voice louder. It ticked him off when Minho just made a plan without consulting him and he feels like the older was disregarding his point.

Minho walked closer to him and brought a hand up to cup Jisung’s face “Being with you is all that I want, Ji.” His eyes were turning glassy with the fluctuating emotions he just went through.

Jisung leaned into the older’s touch, bringing his palm up to place it at the top of Minho’s hand. “It’s the same for me, hyung. But you have your own dreams and I have mine. When I go there with you, it’ll be unfair for me.”

He didn’t want to make it sound selfish but Jisung thought Minho might have thought that it’s okay for Jisung to just let go of something he had held on for so long.

Minho removed his hand and tore his gaze away from Jisung “Let’s talk about this some other time. I’m a bit tired.” He realized that this conversation is going nowhere and he didn’t want to argue with the younger anymore.

“You should get some rest too.” he added before walking towards their room.

Jisung just watched his back disappear as Minho went inside. The two slices of cake were long forgotten on the table. They should be eating it by now and celebrating, àbut things don’t always turn right and okay.

They didn’t really talked about the issue anymore. Everytime both of them were home, they talked casually and do things normally.

Although deep inside, they know they were falling apart.

As the day of making the decision got closer, Minho grew more and more frustrated.

Jisung often pursed his lips, restraining from making a noise and trying to hide his sobs from the elder every night they lay on their shared bed.

Minho knows that. He knows how Jisung tried to act okay in the day and was silently crying during the night. And everytime, Minho wanted to hold him tight and tell him that everything will be okay. But he didn’t, because he knew it was not.

The day of Minho’s flight came. He had packed his things days before and Jisung didn’t even say a word nor helped him.

The fact that they didn’t talked about their situation again is already an answer that both of them had accepted to be on their separate ways.

None of them initiated a closure and when Minho took one last glance at Jisung, he kissed his cheeks that were once again, dried with tears and whispered an _I love you_ before letting his own tears stream down his face and headed out the door.

When Jisung woke up that morning, the other side of the bed reflected the way he felt inside.

 _Empty_.

He noticed a letter addressed to him on the bedside table and all those pent up sadness were let out as he broke down by just reading his name.

 

_Jisung,_

_Remember that time when we first met? You scraped your knees and palms when you fell from the monkey bars and then wailed so loudly I panicked and ran to the house retrieving a first aid kit._

 

Of course Jisung remembers. How can he forget? Minho treated his wound with so much care and even treated him ice cream after. Reminiscing moments like that just made Jisung’s heart heavier.

 

_Since that day, I promised myself to take care of you, that I won’t let anything or anyone hurt you or make you cry again because it breaks my heart._

_I’m sorry, Ji. I’m so sorry I broke my promise._

 

Jisung felt a constriction in his chest. He loved Minho so much, why did it have to come to this?

 

_I’m sorry I can’t protect you. I’m sorry because I’m the reason why you are hurt now._

_Thank you for everything._

_You are my biggest supporter. You tried your best to put up with me and you never left my side._

_I hope I wasn’t that bad of a boyfriend to you because I only want happy memories for you to remember because you deserve to just be happy._

_You deserve to be happy, to be pampered with your favorites, to be rained with kisses, to be hugged tightly, to be taken care of, and most importantly, you deserve to be loved._

_Lastly, I know I haven’t said it these past few months and before I regret it all together, I’ll just say it here._

_I love you, Jisung. So much._

_-Minho_

 

Jisung felt emptier as minutes passed by after he finished reading the letter. It dawned to him that Minho is gone now and they were over.

He also felt cold. It was winter when they got together and it’s winter when Minho left. And this might be the coldest winter Jisung had felt.

 

~

 

Jisung would be lying if he didn’t admit that he cried himself to sleep every night and drag himself to work the next morning and made it his routine. He likes what he does, really, but everywhere he looks and in every thing he does, he sees the elder.

_Minho_

_Minho_

_Minho_

The apartment that was once occupied by two was not helping him move on either so he decided to go back to his own house.

It was a little over a month since he moved out when Chan and Changbin tried to bring back the bubbly Jisung by inviting him to Chan’s boyfriend’s birthday party.

After a consistent persuasion of what seemed like hours, they finally got Jisung to say yes and for the first time, Jisung stepped out of his house with the determination of  forgetting Minho.

Of course actually forgetting him is totally impossible, but activating his social life is at least a first step in reaching the aspired change.

Jisung actually had fun at the party, he met Woojin who is Chan’s boyfriend and is a wedding singer. He also made friends with Jeongin and Seungmin who were more playful and naughty than he thought they would be.

He was slowly living again and started doing the things he used to do without thinking of Minho or without the feeling of emptiness. He shopped for new clothes, volunteered at an animal shelter, went to ktv rooms with friends and just enjoyed whether he’s at work or not.

Jisung also started feeling that the void in his heart was getting filled when he adopted a cat and named her Dori.

Those things made him genuinely happy and before he knew it, a year has passed since Minho left.

Whenever their boss gives them a bigger project, Jisung pulls an all-nighter on the studio with Chan and Changbin, and make songs until they finish at least one set before going home and by that, it means they seldom went home to sleep.

They had been doing that for almost two weeks and when they finally finished, all Jisung wanted was to sleep in his bed when he gets home.

He felt bad about leaving Dori all alone at his house so he carefully sneaked her in the company since pets aren’t allowed. It was a miracle that it was a success and the cat had behaved well as her happy owner showered her with kisses. He promised to give her favorite food when they get home an Jisung was content with the _purr_ she responded like she was really happy hearing that.

Jisung walked home with Dori. He carried her in his arms and even though he put a knit sweater on her, he felt her shiver in the cold and held her tighter.

As soon as they got home, he turned on the heater and put Dori to bed.

He was about to change onto his pyjamas when he received a text message from Seungmin, wanting to go bowling with him and Jeongin.

Jisung was dead tired but how can he say no to his favorite people? They are more like a brother to him. So he replied with a yes and Seungmin said he’ll be there in fifteen.

Knowing him, his 15 minutes is actually 5 because Seungmin is an early bird like that. Jisung changed his coat into a thicker one, he figured it will be colder as the night gets deeper.

Jisung knew he was right when the doorbell rang at exactly five minutes after they exchanged texts and hurriedly went to open the door.

He got a little excited and almost tripped on a rug. Maybe it’s because it’s his first night out in a while.

“I knew you were-” Jisung started saying when he opened the door but immediately stopped himself when he finally recognized who it was.

“Jisung.” the boy who stood right before him said. He gave a small smile and _God_ Jisung thought, _I missed that smile._

“Minho-hyung?”

Jisung can’t believe it. At the same time, he was scared that he would wake up anytime now like some dreams he had a while back. Except, this wasn’t a dream. It was all real.

“Yes, Ji. It’s me.” Minho slightly nodded, he can’t help staring at the younger and so does Jisung.

_Why is he here?_

_When did he come back?_

_How did he know I moved back here?_

There were so many questions Jisung wanted to ask him but first things first

“Come in, hyung. It’s cold.” Jisung gestured him inside and Minho immediately followed after removing his shoes.

Jisung was about to close the door when he saw the snow started falling serenely, painting everything white.

Winter has always been magical for Jisung, and this was it’s best twist yet.

 

~  
  
_That day that brings out memories_

_which I cannot forget_

_  
_ _That day was like a warm dream_

_in the middle of the winter_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading up to the end! ♡


End file.
